10 7 / 2011
“MasyaAllah Ummi, I think next time I don’t have to attend anymore religious classes or lectures lah Ummi, I can just learn from you!”
My mother let out a soft laugh as she began walking away from her stall, hands clutching her trusty small pail in preparation for her prayers. I watched as she strolled away and began to marvel at the MAGNIFICENCE of this woman that Allah has given me the blessings of being able to call my mother.
I have mentioned this to many of my close friends and I will mention it again, “I probably will not be who I am today, if not for my mother.”
This is not an entry marking Mothers’ Day, nor is it her birthday or mine or any other special day, but this entry is something that this heart yearns to pour out as it spills with love and respect for a woman who has gone through so much of my nonsense when I was jahil for the most of my life :’)
I sat myself back down on the stool at the corner of my mother’s stall, and the conversation we had earlier began to replay itself in my head,
“… so Ummi, the ustazah was telling us about how we mankind tend to think and worry too much about our rezqi, when Allah has already sworn to give us rezqi. The whole process of working is just part of sunnatullah, that is, it is in the natural order of things that Allah has created such that rezqi will come when one works for it.
However, what most of us fail to remember is that the work we do does not necessarily equate to rezqi from Allah, for Allah can give us rezqi in any way that He wants; it does not have to be from THAT particular work we do.
For example, when we have flu today, we go to the doctors and eat medicine A, we get better. But when we have the same illness next week, we go to the same doctors and eat medicine A again, we might not get better. It is only when we try medicine Z that we finally do get better. It is the same effort, the same way, the same cure, but we do not get the rezqi of health.
Why? Because it is Allah who decides how that rezqi comes to us! It is not us, nor our work… So we just have to make du’a to Him, and go to work, and insyaAllah rezqi will come to us in many ways and forms, insyaAllah…”
My mom smiled and began to stand up, reaching for her pail. When she was at the edge of the stall’s entrance, she hesitated for a second and then turned around to face me (hehe so drama la my mother),
“Why do you think I am still here, at this stall? I really don’t earn much at all, you know, and I spend so much time here. People have been telling me to close the stall and work elsewhere, or stay home since I don’t earn anyway.
But just this afternoon, a couple of Indonesian maids came to buy some Qur’ans; they want to start reading in preparation for Ramadhan. And the other day, some other maids bought the prayer garments and some even bought the taharrah soap for when they have to handle the dogs belonging to their bosses.
Yes, I know I don’t earn much here and I can probably earn more to support all of you by working elsewhere, but I am the only one in this area who sells these Islamic things; where else can these muslim maids who cannot go out of the area purchase them if this stall were to close?
I do this for Allah swt, and I trust that Allah swt will provide my family with the rezqi we need to live each day. He has not failed us so far, hasn’t He?”
MasyaAllah, masyaAllah, masyaAllah. What faith! :’)
If I were to list out the many incidents that made me in awe of my mother’s faith in Allah swt and her resilience as a wife, a mother and a woman, I would probably never be able to stop writing.
But for now, all I can do is pray for forgiveness for the many moments I have made her cry and for all the countless times I have made her disappointed during my jahil days, and strive my best to be the best Muslimah I can, whose prayers will be accepted by Allah swt for when my mother returns to The One she loves…
Cik Habibah Terchenta, I can only pray that one day, I will be able to have an imaan as strong as yours, insyaAllah <3
P/s. Don’t worry about rezqi, for Allah has sworn that He will give it to us! ;D