Light Upon Light

Reverted

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Syukran :)

Remembering Allah

To me, for myself, and by extension (perhaps) to others… Forgetting Allah and His Messenger is the main root of any issues that drag down our potential in anything and everything.

… because when you truly remember who you are, who He is and the relationship between the two of you, then mountains of ‘problems’ crumble to dust for you know that EVERYTHING that happens in this world, every knock, every tear, every pain in your heart, is but a gift from Him to you, allowing you to inch closer and closer to Him until He is finally able to beckon you into His paradise.

Remember Allah, Fadhilah. Remember Allah and Allah will remember you.

*breathe

I have not written for a while now; it’s hard to write when there’s no internet in my mahallah and carrying the heavy mac to school everyday isn’t an option really.

Things have not been good. Losing your bestfriend in school, finding out that someone close to you might have autism, not being able to concentrate on anything, sleeping to stop voices in my head… I held it all inside for weeks, telling myself that I could handle it, but wallahi when Suraya and Ameerah forced me to sit down and talk it out (they literally forced me to sit down and interrogated me “Asal muka kau asyik macam sedih! cakap!”, I just felt a huge burden go off my shoulders and when I was chatting with Shahidah, suddenly the tears started pouring out.

Like Kak Lina says, “Enough is enough.”

Here’s to good friends who are always there for you, and here’s to new beginnings.

A Late Night Conversation…

… with Kak L makes me feel like uprooting not just out of Singapore (which i have been saying for the longest time) and to Malaysia… but to Britain. kwa kwa kwa~

Terkecil Hati…

… tetapi jika Rasulullah kecil hati setiap kali ditolak, tidak mungkin da’wah dapat bergerak sedemikian lupa.

Luruskan niyyah untuk Allah, faddy.. untuk Allah.

:’(

I met my bestmanfriend, Hakim, for iftar today together with Nasuha. We’ve been best friends since primary six, but a couple of months back I wrote him a long letter on why it is haraam for us to be so close and that even though it hurts like mad and i cried for weeks on end before sending him the letter, it was the best for the both of us in His eyes.

We met today to celebrate our birthdays which were a week apart from one another. After terawih, we sat for a while drinking tea, and we laughed and smiled and just cherished the short window of time after months of not contacting.

When the time to part came, we smiled and waved to each other goodbye, but it was only later we found out through Nasuha, that both of us cried as we walked away from the other…

“She is the only friend I’ll cry for…”

He was the first to congratulate me when I wore the hijab, he was the first to cry for me out of happiness of my turning back to Him, and he was the first friend who actually stopped sharing certain things with me out of respect of my ‘new’ self and because he didn’t want me to drift away from him.

Ya Robb. Embrace Him with Your mercy, and Your love Ya Allah… Protect him and guide him, and show him the straight path so that he may be one of your beloved… insyaAllah ameen.

:”( 

My Favourite Time of the Day…

… during Ramadhan is definitely sahur.

The clanking of dishes, praying fajr with the family, sitting in a circle taking turns reciting the Qur’an and the translations… Alhamdulillah, Ya Robb, for this ni’mah :)